Why do some Asian American families keep an altar for ancestors?

Many Asian American families keep a home altar to honor parents, grandparents and others who came before, often with photos, incense, flowers and food.It’s a way of saying thank you and staying connected, rooted in Buddhist, Confucian and folk traditions. Many describe it as respect and remembrance, and some prefer the word “veneration” to “worship.”

1 · MindWhat it is

Honoring ancestors is one of the oldest customs in East Asia. Britannica calls ancestor veneration “the most universal form of religion throughout China’s long history.” The idea is that the people who came before you are still family, and they deserve care and gratitude.

It draws on several traditions at once:

Confucian teaching stresses xiao (filial piety), which means devotion and care toward parents and elders.
Buddhism shapes many home altars, which often hold a Buddha image near the family photos. In East Asia, Pew found Buddhists are more likely than people with no religion, and far more likely than most Christians, to honor ancestors.
Folk traditions in many places hold that ancestors’ spirits stay close to the family and can help the living.

A home altar might hold photos of loved ones, a Buddha statue or scroll, candles, flowers, an incense burner, and offerings like fruit, rice, tea or a favorite food. Families may light incense and set out fresh offerings every day or on special days.

This is very much alive. In a 2024 Pew Research Center survey of five East Asian places, 95% of adults in Vietnam said they have an altar at home, and 96% of Vietnamese adults had burned incense for their ancestors in the past year. Among Asian Americans, Pew found that about half of Buddhists (51%) worship at a home altar or shrine even though they don’t attend religious services monthly.

What each tradition or community says

Vietnamese and Chinese American families

Many keep an ancestor altar as a center of the home, with photos and daily or holiday offerings. Families often describe it as gratitude and remembrance. In Pew’s East Asia survey, people who are not religious also commonly lit incense for ancestors.

Japanese American Buddhists

Many Japanese Buddhist homes have a butsudan, a small household altar with an image of Amida Buddha, a candle, flowers and incense. In the Jodo Shinshu tradition, the altar centers on the Buddha, with gratitude to loved ones who have died as one part of its use. During World War II, at the Minidoka incarceration camp, one Japanese American father built his family’s butsudan from scrap wood.

Christians with Asian roots

Christianity and ancestor rites have a complicated history. In 19th-century Vietnam, Christians were persecuted partly because their faith was seen as opposing ancestor rites. Today Pew finds Christians in most of East Asia rarely take part, but in Vietnam most do, and some Catholic authorities call these practices “veneration” rather than worship.

2 · HeartWhat it feels like

For many families, the altar is the place where Grandma is still part of breakfast. A bowl of her favorite fruit or a fresh cup of tea isn’t strange. It’s love that didn’t stop when she died.

Kids who grow up with an ancestor altar sometimes feel embarrassed when friends visit and stare, or get asked if their family “worships the dead.” Grownups who moved here may worry the custom will fade with their grandkids. Both feelings are real.

Lighting incense for the people who raised you. Plenty of Americans put flowers on a grave for the same reason. Different custom, same love.Neighbor Radio

3 · HandsHow to be a good neighbor

Don’t touch, eat or move anything on the altar. Offerings are meant for the ancestors. If you’re unsure, ask.

Ask kindly. “Who’s in the photos?” is a warm question. Many people love to tell you about a grandparent.

Respect the day. If a friend or coworker mentions a death anniversary or a holiday like Lunar New Year, know that it may involve family rituals at home. A little flexibility goes a long way.

Watch your words. Avoid calling it “worshipping the dead” or “superstition.” “Honoring ancestors” is accurate and kind.

This weekThink of one person who came before you. Say their name out loud this week and tell someone one good thing about them.

Plain wordsWhat do these words mean?

Catholic: The largest Christian church in the world, led by the Pope in Rome.

All the plain words

Four questions to take with you

From the story of the Good Samaritan, the stranger who stopped to help. We call it the Good Neighbor Test.

Did they see? Or look right past?
Did they stop? Even when it was inconvenient?
Did it cost them? Time, money, comfort, reputation?
Did they treat the person like a person? Not like a label?

Try it on: how you remember someone you’ve lost. Is there a photo, a grave, a recipe or a ritual that keeps them close?

Quick questions

Is it worship?

Families differ. Some, including some Catholic authorities in Vietnam, prefer the word veneration, meaning deep respect and remembrance, not treating ancestors as gods. Some also believe ancestors’ spirits can help the family.

Is it Buddhist or Confucian?

Often a blend of both, plus folk customs. Pew found Buddhists are especially likely to honor ancestors, but many people with no religion do it too, which shows how much it is also about family and culture.

What is a butsudan?

A household Buddhist altar found in many Japanese and Japanese American homes. It usually holds an image of the Buddha, a candle, flowers and incense, and families may also remember loved ones there.

Sources and research

How this answer was made

Fact-checked October 13, 2026 against Pew Research Center, Higashi Honganji Buddhist Temple and Encyclopaedia Britannica. Written in plain words by the Neighbor Radio team. Every fact is checked against what each community says about itself, in its own official sources, plus a neutral reference. Part of this community and something doesn't sound like you, or spot a mistake? Tell us. We read every note and fix mistakes.