for the people next door
Heritage and identity

Someone made fun of my friend’s hijab or turban. What should I do?

1 min read Answered by the Neighbor Radio team Neighbor review in progress Updated

Stand with your friend. You don’t need a speech. “That’s not funny” or “Leave them alone” is enough. Then walk away together. Later, check in: “Are you okay?” If it keeps happening, or anyone gets threatened or touched, tell a teacher, counselor or parent. That isn’t snitching. It’s how adults can help stop it.

1 · MindWhat people believe, and how they know

A hijab is a head covering many Muslim women and girls wear as part of their faith. A turban, or dastar, is worn by many Sikh boys and men, and some Sikh women, to cover their uncut hair as part of their faith. Neither is a costume or a joke. Schools in the U.S. generally have to protect students from harassment, including harassment because of religion.

2 · HeartWhat it feels like

Being mocked for something you wear for God hurts in a deep way. It can make someone feel like they don’t belong in their own school.

If you’re the friend standing nearby, it can feel scary to speak up. That’s normal. You don’t have to be brave for long. A few words, and staying close, matter more than you think.

Standing with a friend in that moment takes about three seconds. What it means to them lasts a lot longer.Neighbor Radio

3 · HandsHow to be a good neighbor

In the moment: say one short sentence and stay with your friend. Don’t fight. Afterward: ask what they want. Some want to report it. Some just want a friend at lunch. If the person keeps doing it, or makes threats, tell a trusted adult right away. If someone is in danger, get help first.

This weekIf a friend gets teased, sit with them at lunch the next day, even if you don’t say anything about it.

Plain wordsWhat do these words mean?

Hijab
A headscarf many Muslim women wear. The word also means modest dress and behavior in general.
Dastar
The Sikh turban, worn as an article of faith.

All the words →

Four questions to take with you

From Jesus' story of the Good Samaritan, about the stranger who stopped to help. We call it the Samaritan Test.

  1. Did they see? Or look right past?
  2. Did they stop? Even when it was inconvenient?
  3. Did it cost them? Time, money, comfort, reputation?
  4. Did they treat the person like a person? Not like a label?

Try it on: when someone gets picked on, do you look away, or do you stop?

Quick questions

What if they make fun of me for helping?

That happens sometimes. Stick together, and tell an adult if it keeps going.

What if I laughed along before?

Say sorry to your friend. Then do better next time. People can change.

Sources and research
  1. Luke 10:25-37, the Good Samaritan (World English Bible)
  2. U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights: rules on harassment in schools, including harassment based on religion
How this answer was made

Written in plain words by the Neighbor Radio team. Each faith's and community's section is checked by someone from that faith or community. Until then, this page says so. Spot something wrong? Tell us. We read every note and fix mistakes.

Where to go next

Free tools that go with this

  • Free Constitution (opens in a new tab)→ Read

    The founding documents in full, searchable and in plain order. The rules every American neighbor shares.

    First step: Read the First Amendment. It’s 45 words.