Is it OK to be angry at God?

In most traditions that believe in God, yes, and the scriptures say so more directly than many preachers do. The Psalms are full of it. Job argued with God for 37 chapters. Lamentations opens with an accusation. Jesus quoted a Psalm of abandonment from the cross. Anger at God is not the same as turning away from God. Many believers say it’s closer to prayer than silence is.

1 · MindWhat people believe, and how they know

Scholars of religion and psychology treat anger at God as a normal part of grief and faith development. Psychologist Julie Exline at Case Western Reserve University has studied this extensively, finding that most people who report anger at God are believers, not apostates, and that expressing it often strengthens rather than breaks faith.

The biblical tradition is remarkable for how much space it gives to human protest. About 40 of the 150 Psalms are lament psalms, prayers of complaint, abandonment and grief addressed directly to God. Job’s suffering leads not to submission but to confrontation; God commends Job at the end and criticizes the friends who defended God too quickly (Job 42:7-8). Lamentations 3 begins: “I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.” This is scripture, not editorial.

Islamic tradition distinguishes between patient endurance (sabr) and despair. Expressing grief and distress to God is acceptable; what is discouraged is giving up on God’s mercy altogether. The Psalms of distress are part of the common inheritance of Jews, Christians, and indirectly of Muslims who read them as inspired.

What each tradition or community says

We're Christians, so we list what Christians believe first. Every other section is checked by someone from that faith or community.

Christianity

The Psalms are Christian scripture too, Jesus quoted them. Psalm 22 (‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’) is the cry of the cross. Christians in grief stand in long company.

Judaism

The tradition of arguing with God is ancient. Abraham argued (Genesis 18). Moses argued (Exodus 32). The Psalms are the prayer book of Judaism. Protest is recognized as a form of intimacy with God, not a departure from it.

Islam

Patience (sabr) is highly valued. But expressing grief, loss and even protest to Allah is part of du’a (personal prayer). What is avoided is losing hope in God’s mercy. The Psalms are respected as earlier revelation.

Grief counseling

Anger is one of the stages commonly described in grief. When the loss is severe, a child, a sudden death, an illness that feels unfair, directing that anger at God is natural. Suppressing it tends to prolong it.

2 · HeartWhat it feels like

If you’ve prayed and it felt like nothing happened. If you’ve been devout and still lost what you loved most. If you’re sitting in a pew and the words feel hollow after what you’ve been through, that anger is real, and it belongs somewhere.

The old models of prayer sometimes gave the impression that good faith meant constant peace. The scriptures suggest something messier and more honest: people who loved God and told him so when things went wrong.

Being angry at God is not the same as hating God. It’s often closer to trusting God enough to say the real thing.

The Psalms were the hymnbook of ancient Israel. About a third of them are complaints. I find that oddly comforting. Nobody edited them out.Neighbor Radio

3 · HandsHow to be a good neighbor

If you’re angry at God right now, you’re in good company. You’re with Job. You’re with David. You’re with the people who wrote Lamentations after Jerusalem fell.

If a friend or child is angry at God after a loss, the instinct to defend God may be less helpful than just sitting with them. Job’s friends had good theology and terrible pastoral instincts. Don’t be that.

This weekIf you’ve ever been angry at God and didn’t say it out loud, what would you say if you did?

SourcesWhere it is in the scriptures

Hebrew Bible (the Christian Old Testament)

Job 42:7-8 Read it in the World English Bible on Free Scripture
Lamentations 3 Read it in the World English Bible on Free Scripture
Psalm 22 Read it in the World English Bible on Free Scripture
Genesis 18 Read it in the World English Bible on Free Scripture
Exodus 32 Read it in the World English Bible on Free Scripture

Plain wordsWhat do these words mean?

Allah: The Arabic word for God. Arabic-speaking Christians and Jews use it too.
Revelation: Something people believe God has shown or told them. Also the last book of the Bible.

All the words →

Four questions to take with you

From Jesus' story of the Good Samaritan, about the stranger who stopped to help. We call it the Samaritan Test.

Did they see? Or look right past?
Did they stop? Even when it was inconvenient?
Did it cost them? Time, money, comfort, reputation?
Did they treat the person like a person? Not like a label?

Try it on: someone in your life who pulled away from God after a loss. What would it mean to sit with them instead of explaining?

Quick questions

Is anger at God a sin?

Most theologians say no. The issue is what you do with it. Honest protest has a long tradition. Bitterness that closes the door is different.

What should I say to someone angry at God?

Mostly listen. ‘God is good’ is true, but it’s not always what someone needs to hear when they’re in pain. Job’s friends were wrong to reach for theology before presence.

Does anger at God mean I’m losing my faith?

Often the opposite. People who feel nothing, who’ve stopped caring, are less likely to be angry. Anger usually means the relationship still matters.

Sources and research

How this answer was made

Written in plain words by the Neighbor Radio team. Each faith's and community's section is checked by someone from that faith or community. Until then, this page says so. Spot something wrong? Tell us. We read every note and fix mistakes.