for the people next door
First Visit

How to be a good guest anywhere

Ask three questions before you go. Watch. Say thank you. That's most of it.

2 min readNeighbor review in progress

Somebody invited you. That’s the hard part, and they already did it.

Most places of worship in America welcome visitors. The Hindu Temple of Atlanta says it plainly: anyone may visit. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints puts “Visitors Welcome” on its buildings. A mosque, a synagogue, a gurdwara: most will be glad you came, especially with a friend.

Ask three questions before you go

  1. What should I wear?
  2. Do I take my shoes off, or cover my head?
  3. Is there anything I shouldn’t do?

Your friend will not think these are silly. They will think you care. You do.

When you’re there

Watch your friend and do what they do, up to a point. Stand when people stand. Sit when they sit. You don’t have to pray, sing, bow or eat anything you’re not comfortable with. Sitting quietly and paying attention is respectful in every tradition in this guide.

Silence your phone. Don’t take photos until you’ve asked. Don’t wander in or out during the most important moment, whatever it is. If you’re not sure what that is, wait for a song to end.

What it’s not

A visit is not a sign-up sheet. If someone asks whether you’d like to know more, “I’m just here with my friend” is a complete answer. It’s also not a debate. Save your questions for the car.

Afterward

Say thank you. Then ask one question about something you saw. “What was the part where everyone stood?” turns a visit into a friendship.

The pages that follow cover eight places. Every community is different, and every congregation has its own habits. When this guide and your host disagree, your host wins.

Try it on

When someone invites you into their world, do you go in curious, or go in grading?