A synagogue is a Jewish house of prayer, study and community. People also call it a shul, or a temple. The main weekly services are on Shabbat, the Sabbath: Friday evening and Saturday morning. Holidays add more.
Before you go
Ask your friend which kind of synagogue it is. It changes a lot.
- Orthodox: the most traditional. Men and women sit separately. On Shabbat, phones and photos are fully off.
- Reform: families sit together, and practice is more relaxed.
- Conservative and others fall in between. Ask your host.
What to wear: nice clothes. Dressier in traditional synagogues. Shoes stay on.
The kippah, the small round head covering: in Reform synagogues it’s customary but not required, and there’s usually a basket by the door. In more traditional ones, men are expected to cover their heads. The Jewish Virtual Library’s advice for guests is to follow the custom of the room.
The tallit, the prayer shawl, is for Jews. If someone offers you one, you can politely say no.
What happens
Prayers are sung and read in Hebrew and English, from a prayer book that opens from what you’d call the back. The Ark, a cabinet at the front, is opened. The Torah scroll is carried around the room and read aloud. There may be a sermon. Saturday services can be long, and plenty of people arrive late.
Do and don’t
- Stand when everyone stands. If people bow, you can just stay as you are.
- Don’t walk in or out while the Ark is open.
- No phones, texting or photos during the service.
- Don’t clap.
Food and thanks
Many services end with food: an oneg on Friday night or a kiddush on Saturday. Go. It’s where people actually talk. “Shabbat shalom” means “a peaceful Sabbath,” and it’s the greeting you’ll hear.
Worried?
“I don’t know when to stand.” Neither does every Jewish teenager. Watch the room. The leader usually says so.
Try it on
How many Jewish neighbors’ Sabbaths have you scheduled a meeting over?